janniwritersblock

"Time passes. Even when it seems impossible. Even when each tick of the second hand aches like the pulse of blood behind a bruise. It passes unevenly, in strange lurches and dragging lulls, but pass it does. Even for me."



I've come to realize that I can relate to books and written words more than I can my own peers. The things people make up make more sense to me.


My parents keep on telling me, "Don't lose your sense of reality." But what if it's too late? My own make believe world seems to make more sense then anything else ever has.

I never knew that someone could break as much as I have, and still have enough okay parts to still be broken down. And after a while wouldn't you expect the tears to stop coming? When you've gone and cried over a billion tears in a matter of three months. I thought the numbness would have lasted longer. I figured that the pain would be easier to take as time passed. I guess I was wrong about everything.

Everything including the way that you felt about me. My head kept telling my heart not to get attatched, that I was nothing more then a thing to pass the time by. But, my heart wouldn't allow me to listen. I fell. Fell harder then I had ever imagined. And I took for granted every second we spent together. I wished I would have kissed you more often and never walked away from you. I wish I would have held onto your hand a little more tighter and held onto our hugs a little more longer. But really, what would that have done? What if it just made you leave me faster? Maybe it might have hurt more in the end. All I really know is that you're something I'll never get back and someone I'll never forget.

I've been doing fine without you, really. . .
Up until the nights got cold
and everyone's here but you, baby.
Seems like everyone's got someone to hold.




The temperature's dropping and I've never really noticed how cold it can get. I've always had someone there to either preoccupy my thoughts or to physically keep me warm.

At first, looking through all of our photographs wasn't so difficult. I felt nothing really. It was a blur of strung together memories that was short lived. I wasn't ready to get rid of you. I've never been as hurt as I was after you left for good. Our last kiss was so full of passion, but you were just saying goodbye. I knew that forever wasn't in our future but I was unprepaired to let go of you so soon.

It's difficult to face all of this in one night, but I think over the past few months I've been slowly breaking and slowly becoming less numb. Now it's hitting me. I'm crying myself to sleep every night and I can't seem to find anyone that compares to you.

Everything about you was just so perfect for me; the way your hands fit so well in mine, how you would never let me walk away, the way you would look at me, how you said you loved me, your kisses, your height, your hugs, absolutely everything.

And then everything slowly began to crash down, you have my heart and there will always be a place for you there and there isn't much that I can do for it now. Hope for the best and attempt to believe that


Time Heals All Wounds.

I've come to realize that I live up in the clouds and I'm all rapped up in my imagination. I often find myself thinking about my amazing future and life and adventures that my mind have come up with. I live in a place where I'm nothing like me. Fearless. Couragous. Gorgeous. Loving. Carefree. Down to Earth. It kind of seems pointless and useless to dream about things. Like true love. It seems like a myth to me, but maybe I've just been broken beyond repair. I'll begin to like a guy and bam. It blows up in my face and I'm alone, again. My own fault or theirs, it doesn't really matter.

"Why would you wanna break a perfectly good heart?
Why would you wanna take our love and tear it all apart now?
Why would you wanna make the very first scar?
Why would you wanna break a perfectly good heart?"
--Taylor Swift.



I'm really just curious on why people just stop talking for no apparent reasoning what-so-ever. It hurts a lot actually. Best friends one minute, lovers the next and now it's over completely. You won't even look at me. It really shouldn't be this way, ever.

I'm really tired of people telling me and other people that we'll never be good enough for anyone. You don't know anything if you think that highly of yourself and that low of anyone else. Just stop.